As my husband sits on another conference call, he looks out the front windows of our house. He dreads the sight of another unknown car pulling around the circular drive. The dogs go crazy barking as a stranger approaches the porch to get their “porch pickup” purchase on FB marketplace. Then he cringes even more. He hears me upstairs on either side of the house. I am rumbling through the attics, excited to sell more stuff tucked away in totes!
Sometimes, little do I know, Jesus has his hand in orchestrating what seems to be a random encounter. It is far more important than another “item sold” on FB marketplace. After my mom passed away last year, I had flashbacks of the fondest memories. I remembered surprising her with new furniture. These thoughts came to mind as I watched a video of her. She walked into the room and saw her new living room furniture for the first time. Priceless. So when it came time to sell the furniture on marketplace, I prayed first. I know in the end it is just stuff. But it had a special meaning. It held a special bond between my mom and me and now it was time to let it go. So I didn’t want just anyone to have it. I wanted someone who loved Jesus like Mama loved Jesus to have and enjoy it too. I cried because I missed her. I prayed for Jesus to send me the family He wanted to buy it. And Jesus sent me Nancy! And Nancy had been praying too for the furniture she was supposed to have. From this, a friendship came. She sits on the chair with the ottoman. She reads Mama’s biography and feels Mama’s spirit close. My prayers were answered and more than I could have asked for…..
Then, it came time to sell her dolls. Oh no, I won’t sell the 1st doll Mama owned at the age of fifty something. Yes, her 1st doll came in her fifties. As a child, she was too poor to own a doll. This dream of having her 1st doll never left her heart or mind. So, she purchased Shelby. And I will keep Shelby and I hope to pass Shelby on to my daughter. But, I loved to spoil Mama. Through the years, I added to her collection of dolls. Like so many, she had to have a large case for her doll collection. It is easy to get obsessed or carried away- we all do. So once again, I prayed that someone who truly loves dolls would buy each one. And a lady contacted me and bought several of them. As we were talking I realized, “Wait, I am missing so many more dolls. These are just dolls I must have brought to my house. The other doll collection must still be in my Mom’s attic.” The lady got so excited. She said she would have to ask her husband if she could purchase more. They were running out of space to put them all. She asked me to contact her cell when I get them. We exchanged numbers not thinking much more of it…..oh, but Jesus was!
Weeks passed and she sent a text reminder because I told her to remind me. I smiled and replied, “Thanks for the reminder. I will try to get by Mom’s house soon and find the dolls.” A few more weeks passed by and at least by now I wrote myself a reminder note. I was making progress.:) Then one evening, another text popped up. She asked, “Have you gotten anymore dolls yet? And I wanted to share some sad news. My husband passed away suddenly from a heart attack and my young grandson found him dead. I am devastated so if you are the praying type, please pray for me and my family. Thank you so very much!” I was shocked. I remember our last conversation. She joked how her family made fun of her holding and rocking her dolls. They brought her comfort and joy. But my mom did the same thing. I wrote her back and told her I would definitely be praying and praying I did. I wrote a note and taped it on my cabinet door. As I saw it, I would pray for her. This happened sometimes super early in the morning and sometimes super late at night. I wondered if she felt something in my home when she purchased those dolls. Maybe she felt comfortable asking for prayer because of this. I continued to pray.
The dolls finally made it to my home and she came to buy more. I saw the deep sadness in her gorgeous deep blue eyes, but she was trying to stay strong. I wasn’t saying much. It was a conversation about the dolls. Then suddenly things changed. We made our way outside. I placed the box of dolls in the front seat of her truck. The Spirit came over me and I had no idea all this was going to pour out. She made a comment about being mad at Jesus and then tears started flowing. I looked deep in her eyes and said, “It’s understandable to feel betrayed and mad. Those are real emotions and you are feeling them toward Jesus. This means you are willing to have a relationship with Him. This is a start.” She added, “I went and bought a Bible because I am trying to get closer. I talk to him some in my mind, but that’s all.” I encouraged her. “Go for a walk. Go in a closet. Go somewhere where you can talk to Jesus like you and I are talking right now. Tell him every emotion you feel. Be raw and be real with Him. I promise He loves you deeply. He is with you in your hurt, even though you do not believe it right now. He is hurting with you because He sees your pain especially when you are alone. But you are not alone. He is always there. So reach out to Him anytime. You need Him. In time as you draw closer to Him, you will start to heal. Eventually, it won’t hurt as much. You can then start to praise Him for allowing you to have this wonderful man in your life. Be grateful for the years you had together. You told me several things about his suffering. If he lived, many aspects of his life would have been altered negatively. You would not want him living as a suffering man.” She is pouring her heart out in tears and says, “I miss him saying to me ‘my love’.” We hug tightly. I continue, “And I believe somewhere down the road, you will have an intimate and real relationship with Jesus. Then He is going to send you another person. This person will also love Him intimately and just so happens to walk up to you and says ‘my love’. You can build a new life together. That’s how Jesus works. I don’t believe He wants you to be alone.” We hugged tightly again as she sobbed. Then it was like it hit me……Jesus turned my attention to the dolls sitting inside her truck. I looked at her and said, “You know, we thought all along us meeting was about the dolls. It was never about the dolls! It was about this conversation right now. This was what Jesus orchestrated all along. Don’t you see? He used me to encourage you and to let you know how much He loves you! In the years to come, the way He works is beautiful. Somewhere in your journey, you will meet someone deeply grieving. They will be grieving because they unexpectedly lost their husband. Only you can walk up to them. You can say, ‘I know exactly what you are going through because I have walked in your shoes.’ I want to tell you like someone once told me, Jesus loves you so much.”….
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