A motherly figure? ….whether it be a mother, an aunt, a grandmother, a teacher.
Unfortunately, as the statistics of autism continue to grow so does something else…sadly, divorce.
Women and men are so much different. Women are horizontal human beings and men are vertical human beings.
Think of it like this: As little girls play on a playground and they are playing house, they want to make sure each girl playing has a certain role in this pretend play…horizontal (include others) Now when boys are on the playground together, they are trying to outdo each other and see who has the best sports abilities like who is the best pitcher, best soccer player, etc….vertical (out for number #1)
So along comes a child with autism (more boys than girls are diagnosed) who is doing everything possible to adapt to our world which can be so confusing for this delicate young mind. Immediately, Mom nurtures and includes this child in activities as she tries her best to give him a role while teaching him how to adapt…see how she is horizontally making sure her young son is included and not left out?
Men, a Father, becomes very frustrated around this young child with autism because they view many quirky ways and odd behaviors as WEAK. This young boy should know how to look out for number 1 and develop his place in society and among others, especially other boys his age….see how he is vertically expecting his young son to act and become?
Whether men want to admit or not, they become so disappointed when this young son, instead of becoming the star player, falls flat on the floor and has a meltdown instead- embarrassing to everyone!
I am not trying to demean men. I am just trying to help all of us make sense why so many young boys with autism have very little in common with the men in their lives. God made men and women different AND then he added in autism and WHAM- a whole new different all together.
I heard this story and it made me think of my own husband. Some neighbor has every tool available to man that he gladly wants neighbors to know they can borrow at any time. How gracious! Well, it comes time for your husband to need one of the tools in this nice neighbors shop. Does he go and ASK to borrow one? NO. A man would much rather go to the store and purchase one than borrow one because he doesn’t want to seem below this neighbor who is “tool king”. To women, this is ridiculous because we would love to go and borrow the tool we need so we can get a lesson on tools we do not know how to use.
Now before you go bashing the men in your life, pray for them instead. Pray that God will help them accept their child with autism just like they are and who they are. In time, with prayer, God will guide you to find ways to strengthen these relationships.
As I posts articles and stories on my Marvel in your Autistic Eyes Facebook page (won’t you join us?) time after time, I get comments from WOMEN.
So women, embrace that God made children with autism to lean on you and need you in their lives! Yes, they need us! Women, they need us! Praise God for this blessing of being needed today! As hard as it is some days when the meltdowns and little progress comes, Praise God!!! WE ARE NEEDED!